Publisher: Flatiron Books Year Published: Page Count: Genre: Memoir
Thank you to Alisson Wood, who sent me a gifted copy in exchange for an honest review!
TW: sexual assault, grooming
Synopsis: A dark romance evolves between a high schooler and her English teacher, in this breathtakingly powerful memoir about a young woman who must learn to rewrite her own story.
“Have you ever read Lolita?”
So begins seventeen-year-old Alisson’s metamorphosis from student to lover and then victim. A lonely and vulnerable high school senior, Alisson finds solace only in her writing—and in a young, charismatic English teacher, Mr. North. He praises her as a special and gifted writer, and she blossoms under his support and his vision for her future.
Mr. North gives Alisson a copy of Lolita to read, telling her it is a beautiful story about love. The book soon becomes the backdrop to a relationship that blooms from a simple crush into a forbidden romance, with Mr. North convincing her that theirs is a love affair rivaled only by Nabokov’s masterpiece. But as time progresses and his hold on her tightens, Alisson is forced to evaluate how much of that narrative is actually a disturbing fiction.
In the wake of what becomes a deeply abusive relationship, Alisson is faced again and again with the story of her past, from rereading Lolita in college, to working with teenage girls, to becoming a professor of creative writing. It is only with that distance and perspective that she understands the ultimate power language has had on her—and how to harness that power to tell her own true story.
BEING LOLITA is a stunning coming-of-age memoir of obsession, passion, and manipulation, shining a bright light on our shifting perceptions of consent, vulnerability, and power. This is the story of what happens when a young woman realizes her entire narrative must be rewritten—and then takes back the pen to rewrite it.
It’s taken me a while to gather my thoughts on this memoir. The subject matter is so important and the writing so vulnerable and raw. I’m not “reviewing” this memoir, but rather sharing what it made me think about in terms of this topic.
Being Lolita chronicles Alisson’s involvement with her high school English teacher, Mr. North. This is the first memoir I’ve read that addresses a storyline I thought I’d seen before–My Dark Vanessa, films about the forbidden love between teacher and student, headlines in small town newspapers about teachers accused of inappropriate relations with a student, Aria and Ezra in Pretty Little Liars, the new FX + Hulu series A Teacher, Maggie in Three Women. In many of the previously listed stories, we are left reeling from a lack of justice or answers. Regarding others, people recognize the relationship as problematic but overlook it as a trope. Some were reviewed as “disturbingly dark” and unnecessarily graphic. But maybe it takes making the story graphic and three dimensional to contemplate the effects, and take a moment to pause and recognize that there are teachers who prey on students, and examine why this story so often ends without repercussions for the teacher, and why we look away instead of focusing in and acknowledging the trauma that looking away perpetuates and allows to continue. This memoir isn’t fiction. This is Alisson’s story. There are many iterations of this story, but this memoir is a triumphant examination of manipulation, trauma, and healing.
This memoir is essential. The reclaiming of Alisson’s narrative is mimicked in the progression of the relationship with Mr. North. Initially, Alisson feels seen and appreciated and believed in, but as years pass and circumstances change, she begins to question whether their love was love or something else—something darker, more cruel, more isolating. I appreciated Alisson’s critical exploration of Lolita, and how time allowed her to reframe her memories of the book as she matured. This is such an important memoir. The reality is that some teachers abuse their power and until we start listening to Alisson and others who endured similar abuse, we cannot adequately address that abuse happens, is happening, and will continue to happen. Memoir, as a genre, forces Alisson’s story into the realm of reality and it cannot be brushed aside as fiction and therefore exaggerated or fabricated or untrue.
Read It Like Rory 